Balancing confidence and humility

If you’re looking to boost your leadership skills, you’ll find plenty of training courses on how to become a confident leader. Yet not many of those courses will teach you the art of being humble. We would argue that both traits are of equal value - in terms of being a leader who can fully support your team and become successful in your own right. If you don’t want to become a leader who’s too big for their boots, you need to balance your confidence with humility. And if you don’t want to become known as a soft touch, you need to sprinkle some confidence on your humility!

Do you lead your team in a fair and balanced way?

In this blog we explore how a balance of confidence and humility creates a more effective leader. We share some practical tips to help you find your equilibrium, and discuss how evaluating your skills can have a positive impact on your team.

Real-life confident, humble leadership

Let’s start by looking at some real-life leaders who were known for their confidence and humility. President Obama led his country with a strength and confidence we admired whilst never losing sight of his roots and the people that helped him achieve their success. His wife Michelle is considered to be a humble and confident leader in her own right. Nelson Mandela is also widely regarded in the same bracket. Closer to home, the former England Manager, Gareth Southgate, led his team in the most selfless way and retained the confidence to pick the players and team he believed in - despite what the media had to say. Can you think of any other confident, humble leaders?

What happens when there’s a confidence overload?

There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Overly confident leaders focus on what they know they do well and tend to overlook their own weaknesses. This is usually because they want to be seen as powerful and garner respect and recognition for their strengths and achievements.

Real confidence is knowing your strengths, but also being aware of where you need to develop and not being afraid to admit this. Confident leaders understand the business vision and are able to pass on their strategic knowledge to their team. It’s about knowing what your team needs from you. You can be confident without belittling others or acting like you are better than them.

What do we mean by humility in leadership?

Humility is about self-awareness, emotional intelligence and being true to yourself. It’s not being afraid to show your human side at work. Being a humble leader makes you more approachable, respected, believable, and trusted by your team.

Here are some practical ways to demonstrate humility in your own leadership:

• Communicate openly and listen freely - ask for feedback, views and opinions and actively listen to what you hear. Communicate clearly and with respect, openness and understanding.

• Read the room - understand your audience; what they already know, what they need to know, and most importantly how they are feeling.

• Admit your mistakes - nobody is right all the time so be honest when you get something wrong or don’t know the answer. Never hide from asking for help.

• Support your team to grow - humble leaders are lifelong learners. Invest in your team’s continuous learning, growth and development by helping them identify their learning needs and supporting them to them to achieve their full potential.

• Appreciate the value of teamwork - recognise and reward the contributions of others - you did not get there on your own so don’t take all the credit!

• Celebrate and socialise together - teams that play together stay together!

• Treat everyone with respect - demonstrate the same kindness, courtesy and respect to others as you would wish to be shown yourself.

• Consider how the other person feels - empathy is a high level people skill. When making decisions and communicating messages that will impact your team, put yourself in their shoes, think how they might feel, and adapt your leadership to suit.

Can humility and confidence coexist?

Confidence and humility are two pieces of the same jigsaw. The ability to find the right balance between the two is one of the strengths of a good leader. Exert too much confidence and you could be seen as arrogant, a big ego, or that power has gone to your head! Become overly humble and people might perceive you as soft, indecisive or submissive. Your team will probably let you know, directly or indirectly, if you are heading towards an extreme. 

There will sometimes be situations where you naturally project more of one trait than the other. For example, on receipt of an award that you wouldn’t have achieved without the help, support and input of others, most (not all!) leaders would acknowledge their role in your success.

Another example is when you need to exude confidence leading through change. Confidence and clarity about the direction of the business, why the change is happening and how it may affect your team is reassuring. While you may have concerns as to how the change will affect you, sometimes you need to mask these to avoid unsettling people.

What happens when you hit the sweet spot?

When a team has a confident, authentic leader they believe in it builds a culture of trust, respect and openness. Colleagues are more likely to collaborate, share ideas and feel engaged at work. Confidence and humility sit at opposite ends of the strength scale. Finding a mid-point where you and your team can function happily and productively can be transformational.  

How do you know if you found the right balance?

Evaluating your own skills as a leader can be hugely beneficial to the long-term growth and success of your team. The action of taking steps to identify where you need to improve is humble in itself and may inspire your team to do the same.

One way to do this is to ask your team for feedback on your leadership strengths and areas for improvement. They are the people who experience your management first hand, so they are best placed to tell you. You might also look to use leadership development tools, assessments or coaching to work on finding the right balance. If you or any leaders in your team would benefit from this, please ask us about our learning solutions or call us on 0161 941 2426. We’re here to help.

Further reading

If you enjoyed this post take a look at our blogs on Adaptive Leadership, Upskilling and Reskilling your People, and Being a Good Leader or our guide to Leadership Communications in the Digital Age.