Brave Conversations

Have you been putting off a work conversation you know you need to have? It could be the one about the project delivery that’s not up to scratch, the repeated lateness you need to address, or a role that’s no longer required. Challenging conversations about sensitive, emotional or contentious subjects are common in the workplace. Knowing how to handle and approach them is every line manager’s responsibility.

When you put off having a challenging conversation, you’re risking a further breakdown of the situation. Such situations rarely resolve themselves. Failure to have an effective conversation with an employee at the right time is one of the most common causes of conflict. Delaying the inevitable can lead to the problem escalating, resulting in a formal complaint or disciplinary proceedings.

If you don’t have that conversation you will end up wishing you had acted sooner.

Managers need to be equipped for challenging conversations

Healthy debate is a good thing in the workplace. Open discussion often sparks creativity and leads to the development of new ideas. When healthy debate turns into conflict, that’s when a manager needs to step in.

The difficulty comes when managers are promoted into people management positions without any experience of managing a challenging conversation. When you’re not equipped to handle a situation you’re likely to go into the discussion ill-prepared and low on confidence. This will come across in your approach and may lead to perceived insensitivity, disputes and a breakdown in employee relationships.

Training leaders to tackle difficult conversations can help prevent bigger issues such as investigations, formal procedures and disciplinary hearings.

Not every conversation will be difficult

Like anything we don’t really want to do, often the anticipation is much worse than the reality. At times we’re all guilty of putting off conversations with employees because we think they might be difficult. We tend to build things up in our minds to be worse than they actually are.

Not all conversations are difficult. But the more you think about it, the worse the situation will become. Our best advice is to:

• Have the conversation at an early stage, and

• Plan what you are going to say, but don’t dwell on it for too long.

The longer you leave the issue, the more time it has to develop into something bigger and unwieldy. Employees will notice this, which leads to gossip and negativity, affecting morale and degrading trust. Some things are not better left unsaid.

The benefits of being brave in your conversations

Employees feel more motivated and engaged when leaders discuss issues openly. A performance review with under-performing team member for example, could reveal a need for further help and support. As a result of one brave conversation, the manager and the business are better informed, the employee will get access to the support they need, and everyone feels happier.

Brave conversations can have positive outcomes for everyone involved, including:

• Being able to identify problems early and address issues before they escalate

• Building trust, confidence and respect for leaders

• Employees feel heard and understood

• Creating a positive, cooperative, and supportive team environment

• Increased employee wellbeing and a healthy and engaged workforce

• Strengthened relationships

• Improved employee morale and productivity.

What if you don’t see eye to eye with the person?

Every leader needs to know how to approach a conversation assertively to ensure positive outcomes. There is always a possibility that you might have to address a situation where you don’t agree with the person or don’t have a very positive relationship with them. This is where effective training really shows its value. When you are confident in your ability to hold constructive, high-quality conversations with employees and teams, this will help you through. Training will equip you to handle strong emotions with confidence and compassion.

How to practise active listening

A key skill every leader needs in their toolkit to tackle difficult conversations is active listening. This is where you listen attentively and take on board everything that the other person is saying, reflecting on what they have said. It helps you to understand their point of view and allows the other person to feel heard and understood.

Part of active listening is knowing the right questions to ask. Preparing what you will ask in advance will help you to feel more confident and usually leads to better outcomes for everyone involved. We’ll cover more on questioning techniques and all aspects of tackling brave conversations in our free lunch and learn webinar on Wednesday 13 September.

Don’t put off that difficult conversation any longer. Join the webinar and discover all the tips and techniques you need to feel confident handling challenging conversations. The tips you learn won’t just help you in your work life, they will benefit you in your personal life too. Whether it’s broaching money issues, making big life decisions, or resolving conflict between your children.

Our expert Learning & Development Consultant, Chloë Bisson, will guide you through how to approach situations you currently perceive to be tricky and offer tips you can apply straight away. We guarantee you will come away feeling much more confident dealing with all types of difficult conversations from sharing bad news to managing personality clashes.

Join us at 1pm on 13th September and let’s begin those brave conversations! Book your place here.

Further reading

You’ll find lots more tips and advice over on our blog. Take a look at our posts on The Foundations of Management, Employee Conduct, and Being a Good Leader, or read our eBook on Resolving Conflict in the Workplace.

How we can help

If you would like to discuss any of the issues raised in this blog, please get in touch with us on 0161 941 2426. We’re here to help.